On the occasion of International Women’s Day, we are reminded that the fight for women’s rights is far from over. A recent case in Pune, India, starkly illustrates the challenges women face within the legal system — a system that should protect them but often falls short. A woman, battling a domestic violence case, found herself questioned not about her harrowing experiences or her safety, but about the absence of her mangalsutra and bindi, traditional symbols of marriage. This shocking incident reflects a disturbing reality: societal norms sometimes prioritize a woman’s outward appearance over her well-being and the validity of her struggles.
As per the media report, the judiciary’s focus on a woman’s attire instead of addressing her trauma perpetuates the age-old notion that a woman’s worth is bound to her marital status and symbols. It emphasizes the marriage ‘commitment’ over safety and justice, placing an undue burden on women to demonstrate their loyalty even amidst abuse. This raises a critical question: Should a woman’s safety be side-lined by her adherence to cultural symbols?
At the heart of this issue lies a deeper societal problem. Many perpetrators of domestic violence are individuals who have absorbed violent behaviours from their childhood, where aggression was not only prevalent but often accepted as a part of life.
They may grow into adults who view their partners not as equals but as extensions of their own identity — objects to control and dominate. Within this framework, narcissism often plays a crucial role. Narcissistic individuals exhibit extreme self-involvement, leading to a disregard for the needs and feelings of their partners. This troubling dynamic leaves many women unaware of what constitutes a healthy relationship. Instead, they may find themselves entrenched in circumstances that gradually erode their self-worth and agency.
Moreover, the stigmatization of women speaking out against domestic violence is pervasive. Many women remain silent, fearing societal reprisal or believing that their grievances will not be taken seriously simply because they are women. Throughout my journey as a journalist and as president of the NGO FAM: Fam An Mars, I have witnessed numerous cases where women suffer in silence, bearing the brunt of emotional and physical abuse. Often, the crisis is compounded by societal expectations that men wield power over women. This misguided belief leads to a failure not only as partners but also as fathers, abandoning their families and perpetuating cycles of trauma and neglect.
It is crucial to recognize that it takes two individuals to commit to a relationship, yet all too often, it only takes one to break it. Similarly, it requires two people to bring a child into the world, yet the responsibility for raising that child frequently falls disproportionately on one parent. This inequity is profoundly unfair. The person who abandons their parental responsibilities is rarely held accountable and societal structures fail to impose sufficient legal consequences. Thus, what might be termed “adultery” is committed repeatedly in a less-than-“honourable” manner, with individuals feeling free to dissolve commitments at their discretion — ultimately at the expense of those left behind.
If this trend continues unaddressed, we risk creating a society that values fleeting commitments while undermining the stability and well-being of future generations. Children raised in environments devoid of love and respect may find themselves diverted onto paths of negativity, further perpetuating cycles of dysfunction.
It is high time we educate our youth, regardless of gender, about the significance of healthy relationships, commitment and responsibilities. Understanding the implications of their actions and the importance of empathy can have far-reaching effects in preventing domestic violence.
As we commemorate International Women’s Day, we must recognize that the fight for women’s rights is intertwined with addressing the broader societal issues that enable domestic violence. We must challenge patriarchal norms and advocate for a society where women’s voices are heard and respected. Education should dismantle harmful perceptions that enable abuse, fostering an understanding among all individuals — regardless of gender — of their responsibilities in creating a compassionate and just world
The time to act is now. Together, let us foster a dialogue that prioritizes safety over symbols and justice over silence. Let us remember that true commitment lies in supporting each other’s rights to live free from violence and fear. On this International Women’s Day, let us renew our commitment to championing equality and justice for all.